The Wannabe Outdoorsman

Car Talk Pt 2

2010-07-27T19:26:00.003-04:00

This is more therapy for me than anything else. I've come to the point in my car-shopping journey where I must make a decision, but there is no decision that leaves me feeling like a winner here. At least I got to test drive a WRX this morning before it was purchased out from under me.

Final option #1:
Another Jeep. I could go with one of the few new 2010 2dr wranglers left in the area. This one is actually pretty sweet. Major differences from my current wrangler include that it's black instead of forest green, it has annoying "mountain" trim decals which can and would be removed from the hood, power windows and both a hard and soft top for summer and winter. A soft top is one of those things that just completes the wrangler experience. But the gas mileage! And the barely usable back seats! Those things still haven't been improved.

Another downside is that the good program is for a 39 month lease instead of 36, and I would need to put another $500 down over what I'm putting into the other options to get to the same monthly payment.

Final option #2:
The Subaru Forester XT. All wheel drive, functional, faster off the line, shorter breaking distance, easy-to-get-to back seats, better gas mileage (19 city/24hwy vs. wrangler's 15/19) and a huge sunroof. Downside is it's lower to the ground than a wrangler and handles more like a car. Also, no soft top. I get this, put roof racks on to distinguish myself from housewives who just want an AWD station wagon, then cry myself to sleep every night for the next month.

Lost was a bad program all along

2010-06-07T17:21:00.002-04:00

Peter, Caitlin and I watched the season finale of Lost together what, two Sundays ago? Three? Whenever it aired. At the time, the emotional charge of the ending, complete with imagery reminding us of the show’s beginning was enough for me to feel somewhat satisfied. But all the sappy orchestral overtures and slow motion character montages in the world aren’t enough to keep the questions at bay, and in the end, it is those unanswered questions that made this show something far less than people give it credit for.

First the good points of the series: It was often witty and filled with allusions to philosophers, books, authors and films that ranged from those so obscure they would be caught only by the most culturally savvy geeks, to those just about anyone would catch, such as the a character named Christian Shepherd. It also gave us what felt at times like a great roller coaster ride with the big drop looming just around the corner. Many of the characters were very well written as well, with fantastic back stories, great dialogues and shifting motivations that kept you from knowing their next move without feeling like they were contrived or impossible to relate to.

Unfortunately the character work, snappy dialogue and easter-egg references were all set into a world that, at the last minute it seemed, was determined pointless by the show’s own creators. The draw of the show wasn’t whether or not the characters would all find eternal salvation together, it was the Island and the mysteries it held. People tuned in every week, season after season, because there was a promise of this magnificent tapestry of a story of which we were only catching the faintest loose threads. Who were the Dharma Initiative really and why were supplies still dropping in 2004 when the group was wiped out in the 1970’s? College Humor sums up all the unanswered questions better than I can, and even these questions aren’t all the things left unanswered. You can’t just throw all that into an extended storyline without explaining it at some point. That they didn’t means that big roller coaster drop never came. When the sappy water works were over, we were gently told that those mysteries that were all we really wanted to have explained were suddenly not the point at all.

It is a responsible writer’s job to not make a mess of his or her work. Clean and tidy endings aren’t necessary at all, but cohesion from beginning to end is. This is where Lost fails terribly. In blatantly ignoring all the interesting little questions they’ve made a point of asking the audience along the way, the show’s writers have displayed a tremendous lack of foresight and story cohesion. It is fully apparent now that they were in fact making it up as they went along with no real game for it all. The charade worked as long as there was at least one more episode on the horizon to hold the promise of answering everything. In fact, the longer the show waited to answer all the Island’s big mysteries, the more interested we were to see just how elegantly these promising writers could tie it all together. What happened though was the thinly veiled collapse of a narrative Ponzi scheme.

Because of all the blind alleys, references and oddly delivered lines that seem to hold some deeper overarching meaning, there will no doubt be those with theories and even dissertations on where the answers really are. To these people I say stop. You are at best giving the writers too much credit and at worst doing their work for them. With so much quality content available, this doesn’t deserve another minute of our time.

Dark Days

2010-05-19T16:29:00.003-04:00

As I walk underneath brilliant blue skies and gentle fragrant breezes in one of the few local parks still open to the public, I can’t help but feel the wheels are coming off.

- Governor Patterson, in an attempt to strong-arm the State Legislature to pass a budget, has ordered closed 55 state parks including Joseph Davis Park in Lewiston, Woodlawn Park in Hamburg, and the lovely Knox Farms in East Aurora. The Legislature pushed a plan to keep the parks open, but Patterson is using the parks among his pressure on lawmakers to settle the budget dispute. How about they don’t draw any pay until it’s settled? Why punish everyone else but them?

- Oil continues to flood into the gulf of Mexico. BP’s efforts seem designed less to plug the leak than to capture the spilled oil, and aren’t nearly on the level they need to be considering the catastrophic nature of this disaster. It is now spreading to the Loop current within the gulf, which will send it swirling from the Yucatan to southern Florida, Western Bahamas and back.

- A recent study shows that the average American child is getting a worse education these days thanks to our struggling public school systems. While they are ranked 25^th out of 35 developed countries in quality of education, this hasn’t stopped their self-assuredness – the same study showed their confidence in their substandard learning far surpassed that of their non-US counterparts.

- A new landmark protection act was signed in Canada “preserving” their forests from unsustainable logging activity. This is great news, don’t get me wrong. While there is room for interpretation on what determines sustainable logging activity, Greenpeace put their stamp of approval on it, so until I can do better research I will defer to their judgement. The one snippet that chilled my blood from the BBC coverage was “The total protected area is about twice the size of Germany, and equals the area of forest lost globally between 1990 and 2005” So that means just in 15 years, we’ve clear cut forests totalling twice the size of Germany from the planet.

- Meanwhile, an incredibly inventive way to allow companies to buy carbon credits by investing in tropical rainforest preserves seems doomed to die in Congress. Unfortunate because it’s a no brainer to me. Why, you might ask, do I feel that companies should pay? Because they are emitting carbon!! Well, you say, what when they must pass these expenses onto the consumers? So be it! We all need to do our part. The only other missing ingredient is embargoes on timber coming from countries that don’t practice sustainable forestry methods, enforced by all member nations of the UN. If we don’t buy, they won’t waste time and energy cutting it down.

- Starbucks cups claim to be made from 10% recycled material. Why not 100%? Here’s the quote from the cup “While that may not seem like a lot to you, this actually saves 100,000 trees from being cut down every year” – so we’re cutting 900,000 trees per year just to cover the other 90% that isn’t recycled, just for Starbucks cups? What about adding Tim Horton’s, Dunkin Donuts, Caribou Coffee and Seattle’s Best? You’re right, it doesn’t seem like a lot to me. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but let’s not celebrate such meager attempts.

- Asians are trading in their healthy rice and vegetable diets for red meat rich Western-style diets. And this report has the audacity to refer to such changes as “dietary advances”. Ironically, forward thinking Westerners are dropping red meat from their diets in favor of heart-healthy, leaner foods like whole grain rice based on statistical data showing that in the Asian countries where it is a prevalent dietary staple, the folks are living longer! Let’s also not forget that more cattle means more consumption, more methane emissions and of course more trips to the emergency room for these soon to be plump, artery-clogged people.

Someone give me some good news.

Car Talk, unfortunately without Klick or Klack

2010-05-10T22:30:00.004-04:00

The hunt for a new vehicle has been underway for several weeks now. The Jeep will be going bye bye. Great vehicle, but the mpg issues were really starting to get the better of me.

So far, I've test driven a Ford Escape, a Toyota Rav4, a VW Tiguan, a Subaru Forester XT (turbo charged) and a Legacy 3.6R.

The Escape lost me at the test drive. The 4 cylinder had no power, the 6 had no fuel efficiency and the hybrid was astronomically expensive, with no programs whatsoever.

The RAV4 actually held its own quite well. I tested the V6 version, which cranks an amazing 269HP and 246lb/ft of torque in an automatic 5-speed transmission. Took off like a rocket. But the interior was a little effeminate and low quality, the steering was limp and the brakes were soft. Also, the Sport level trim, which mans up the interior a bit, comes with run-flat tires only, which upon full research isn't that bad, but could become expensive. Still, the programs around this vehicle are way too good to ignore. And fuel efficiency was surprisingly adequate (some folks with lower ideals for what fuel efficiency ought to be by now might even call it good).

The Tiguan was superb. The turbocharged Audi i4 engine was admirable, and thanks to a 6 speed transmission with Tipptronic shifting options, crisp steering and responsive brakes, the drive outperformed the RAV4. The interior was also fantastic: comfortable leather seats, a solid feeling dash, an 8inch touchscreen radio and a panoramic sunroof that stretches back over the second row of seating. The only drawbacks are that it has less cargo space than the RAV4 and it requires premium fuel thanks to the turbocharger. Oh, and it's a pricey ride, with lower fuel economy than the RAV4. So there's that.

Lastly, I really wanted to test drive the new Forester XT, which I believe Edmunds said was faster 0 to 60 than the Tiguan. Well, maybe with expert use of the manual sportshift, but left to its own, the 4 speed auto transmission doesn't serve the 224hp turbocharged boxer engine properly and the result is sluggish performance compared to the VW, at least in my experience. The interior was nice though, with fantastic visibility, amazing room in the front and second seats, it's own panoramic moonroof which opens up past the front seats and a fair amount of aggressive styling. but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a well camouflaged version of its earlier grocery-toting self. Coming from a Wrangler I was hesitant, and the failure of the vehicle to really push my head back into my seat like the VW and Toyota did on take off made me more so (I may just need to get the hang of the ride though). Still, the guy I worked with at the Subaru dealership was the nicest, and he and his boss made the most creative offers. They fell short of Toyota's hyper-aggressive leasing options for their RAV4, but then again Subaru isn't fighting off a mammoth wave of negative press due to sticky accelerators, floor mats and other dangerous issues.

The Legacy 3.6R was powerful but otherwise mostly unremarkable for an AWD vehicle. There was a slight shimmy in the car I drove and while it had power to spare, the ride felt heavy and bulky even for a sedan. It was enough for me to move on.

So, I now need to decide if I want to spring for the fun but expensive Tiguan, the ugly but super cheap and practical RAV4, or the safe, boring Forester.

Let me rephrase. It's time to see how well I can negotiate.

Frustration

2009-11-23T10:50:00.003-05:00

Dear President and Congress:
You are focusing on the wrong issue right now. Healthcare can wait, and it ought to. Get this need to issue resolved first. I’d be surprised if you did, but what a breath of fresh air it would be, no pun intended, to watch you focus on something that all reasonable people can agree needs immediate attention and drastic action.

No 2050 deadlines. That’s too late and you know it. The above linked report cites 2015 as our last chance. Other studies have predicted that arctic ice will completely disappear by the summer of 2012. With this in mind, f’ing around with a complex healthcare bill is burning up precious time to act on something monumentally more important. Every day you work on something else other than climate change (or nothing at all, as is common), you fail all of us.

TV Stuff

2009-10-19T16:18:00.002-04:00

For a while, I’ve been touting the humor I find in a cartoon called Chowder. It is damned funny. And for nearly as long, Garvey and a few other others have been trying to tell me that another cartoon, Flapjack, is also hilarious. I was always a little dismissive, basically because every time I watched the show, I’d see a lot about a whale that isn’t very funny. But man was I wrong and I apologize. Flapjack is the deal. It might even be funnier than Chowder, in the right lighting, after a few drinks…

Secondly, Psych, the heir-apparent to Monk on USA Network, had an excellent episode recently where a mentally unstable person believed he was a werewolf. It was filled with several campy horror film references, but there was also a recurring theme on an 80’s classic. Without spoiling the episode:
1. The psychiatrist who had the man as a patient was played by David Naughton
2. When the afflicted character awoke naked in the woods in the classic “not again!” moment every lycanthrope knows well, he fled back to the Psych office for refuge. He showed up covering himself with two bunches of balloons. I get it!
3. The next episode made the reference complete with a gigantic American Werewolf in London poster in Sean Spencer’s apartment.

Don't make no kinda sense

2009-09-08T14:57:00.003-04:00

President Obama addressed students today to send a message that there is no excuse for dropping out of school. The media found opposition to this message in some of the more extreme fringes of political society. Was this a media tactic to portray the conservative opposition as a little touched in the head? Perhaps. But never the less, they did find real people, just like the real people foaming at the mouth at town hall meetings and packing heat at protest rallies.

Who would oppose this message though? Isn't hard work, perseverence and self-reliance one of the cornerstones of conservatism? You'd think they'd be ok with this one at least. Maybe they're not thinking too clearly. Especially because their way of preventing their children from hearing about staying in school is to keep them home from school today.

360 woes

2009-08-28T12:27:00.003-04:00

About a day after I rashly bid on and won a new xbox 360 elite during a charity event, I came to the conclusion that the Playstation 3 is really better for me. I like blu ray, wifi and rechargable controllers, and one has all of these while the other has none. So onto Craigslist goes the xbox 360 bundled with Resident Evil 5, Fight Night Round 4 and Fallout 3, all new in their wrapping. The retail value, even with the lowered pricing, of all this stuff is $480. I'm asking much less.

Alas, it seems that while Craigslist is a fantastic place to sell your furniture, it is a festering hell hole for video game sales. I'm up against shady characters offering to sell xbox 360's for like $100 new. They've been called out as having "hot" product, but that's my competition and likely how I am probably viewed as a result since I have no store receipt.

My first offer came from a scammer. My second came from a dude who wanted to trade his new blackberry storm for it. No thanks. The third one came from what turned out to be a kid using his aunt's email and only wanted to trade his wii. The latest one came from what I am coming to believe is a person who intended to rob me. There are some folks asking for xbox's who say they have cash, but my inquiries were scoffed at. Apparently, unless I practically give them the machine, they aren't interested.

Anyone want a new xbox 360? It's the cool black one with HDMI. eh? eeehh?

Oregon pics

2009-08-03T15:40:00.001-04:00

Here are some pictures from our little trip.

Do I have to go home now?

2009-08-03T10:42:00.004-04:00

Greg has earned the achievement [Explore Western Oregon}
On 8/1/2009, Greg (and Caitlin) completed this achievement by visiting the following places:
Portland
Columbia River Gorge
Bonneville Dam and Fish Ladder
Willamette wine country
Drift Creek
Lincoln City
Astoria (heeey you guuuuys!)
Cape Foulweather
Seaside
Newport
Cape Meares
Florence
Cape Lookout
Eugene
Crater Lake National Park

Best vacation ever.

Happy Friday

2009-06-26T08:41:00.003-04:00

No Youtube nugget per se... that was someone else's province... but this is worth a post.

They're not for dudes. Or dogs.

2009-06-25T15:03:00.001-04:00

From a recent conversation I had a coworker from California.

Coworker: Yeah, you see some weird stuff out here. I mean, you’ve got weird stuff there, but this stuff is on another level. Yuppie weird.

Me: Like a guy on rollerskates with Kenny G hair and no shirt?

Coworker: Do you know what a baby bjorn is?

Me: A young Scandinavian bear.

Coworker:…

Me: Yes, I know what they are.

Coworker: So the other day I saw someone wearing one with their dog in it.

Me: What?

Coworker: I wanted to punch the dude.

Me: What??

Got to get out there

2009-06-24T10:58:00.001-04:00

Anyone up for some golf? Skill of any sort is not necessary.

Put on your dancing shoes. It's time for the news. It's time to chase the blues away.

2009-06-05T16:22:00.002-04:00

Here’s a bunch of cool stuff, mostly video game related:

1. A new Professor Layton will be available in the US on August 29th
2. The Secret of Monkey Island is being re-released in high def complete with full voice acting (thanks to Alex for bringing this to my attention)
3. Tales of Monkey Island will also be released for PC and Wii in episodic form, similar to the Sam and Max series.
4. There is a very cool looking new Castlevania coming out for the high def consoles, but not until 2010.
5. There’s a bunch of news around Final Fantasy titles. Basically, there’s one for the Wii, a series following up on the world of FFIV 14 years later, FF13 for 360 and PS3, FF 14 for PS3 only.
6. New Zelda coming out for DS, too.
7. Lastly, there’s a new Metroid coming out for the Wii, being developed by the team that made the flashy new Ninja Gaidens for xbox and 360.

Most of this flurry of news was released in the past few days at the big E3 expo, where the big three console makers all try and outdo one another. I have a Wii, but I want a high def system as well. Seems to me that if you want great online options and a large array of titles, you go with the 360. If you want a blu ray player built in and the absolute best in graphical capabilities, you go with the Playstation 3. A system’s game library is really what matters, and there are a lot of crossover titles, which muddles the decision further. Where is the next Shadow of the Colossus or Okami likely to surface? Do I want Gears of War or God of War? Which system will have more games involving lightsabers?

... so many links...

Ouch.

2009-05-28T10:26:00.003-04:00

Blizzard finally announced the winners of their creative writing contest. I offer hearty congratulations to those who won and those who got honorable mentions.

I received neither. My selfish ego keeps conjuring up this notion that my work overstepped some boundary that disqualified it for reasons beyond pure content quality. This is mostly a defense mechanism. When you play the Mega Millions on a big pot, you can't help but fantasize about how your life will change if you win. This contest became something akin to that. It was my big chance to get out of a line of work I don't love and into one I would. But rather than a meager $5 investment, I poured a bit more into it, and random chance wasn't to blame for my loss, all of which adds to my frustration and feeling of inadequacy.

Blizzard has released few details aside from winning titles and authors. My wish, unrealistic as it is, is to hear from someone at Blizzard who can say “hey, this is why you didn’t place”. But with 1500 entries, what we’re more likely to get, if anything, is a canned response that will end up insulting more entrants than it soothes. I do hope that the winning content is revealed soon, so that I can know that I was either displaced by a superior work and sharpen my pen for the next one, or take heart that my work was equally strong, but cast aside for arbitrary reasons. At which point, legal matters be damned (Blizzard apparently owns all submissions), I will release my work to anyone who wants to read it.

it is So Choice

2009-05-15T09:50:00.002-04:00

To anyone shopping for a high def TV: buy a plasma. They are simply better than LCDs in every respect, especially if you’re shopping within a budget. I fully admit I am incredibly fussy, but even I can find no fault with mine, except for the fact that we are frequently mesmerized by the thing.

Squiggle mouth

2009-05-12T09:43:00.002-04:00

To piggy back on Alex’s post, I too was recently told I resembled a celebrity I don’t care for. At a baby shower this weekend I was told by a stranger that I look like Jake Gyllenhaal, specifically his character in Brokeback Mountain. Ouch. The person paying what she thought was a compliment didn’t register what might not be awesome about that.

My dislike for Gyllenhaal has nothing to do with that movie at all. I’ve never seen it, so all off color jokes aside, it doesn’t weigh in on my opinion one way or another. I just don’t think he should be in movies. He’ll always be Bubble Boy to me. His mouth is shaped like a tilde (~). He seems simple minded and awkward. The roles I’ve seen him play, such as in Jarhead, were weak and unconvincing to me. That’s pretty much why I don’t like him. Who would want to be told they look like that? Caitlin says it’s the beard.

Sat down for a drink in my father's favorite chair

2009-05-03T13:21:00.002-04:00

Earlier this week I was allowed into the Stereo Advantage showroom to test a Nintendo Wii on a few different flat panel HD TV's to see which, if any, made the damn thing look acceptable.

The first thing I tested was the Panasonic TC-P42S1 Plasma TV. AV gurus seem to favor plasma and this was cheap 1080p with a higher contrast ratio (2,000,000:1) and refresh rate (600hz) than any LCD. What could possibly be the catch? Turns out, power consumption is really it. It costs about 2.5 times as much energy to use a plasma than an LCD.

On the Wii: looked better than the Philips I bought earlier, that's for sure. Recognized the signal well, still had lots of jagged edges, but this was mitigated by the depth of color.

Standard Def: Again, better than the Philips, but still wasn't great.

So, unconvinced this was the saving grace, I asked about an LG LCD a friend pointed out to me, which at the time was on sale at Best Buy for $300 off. Stereo Advantage doesn't carry LG so the technician couldn't show me that specific model (42LH40), but he did plug into a Toshiba LCD with identical specs. I was impressed with the punchy, bright display.

On the Wii: it wouldn't give us 16:9 aspect ratio, but even crammed into 4:3, which normally smoothes out jagged lines by making them smaller, it still didn't look as nice as the plasma.

Standard Def: Not bad. Again, still gobbledy gook, but Toshiba did a nice job.

My final choice was the plasma. Stereo Advantage threw in too many goodies and the price was where I wanted to be. A later trip to Best Buy resulted in an attempted upsell to a Samsung Series 7 LCD, which, good though it was, didn't hold up to the Panasonic Plasma it was mounted next to. And that plasma was lower end than the one I bough. If the expensive, high end Samsung was better than the LG, but still worse than a 720p plasma, the choice to me was clear.

As for standard def help... we're in a transitionary period right now. Standard Def will slowly go away, or become an alternative, within the next few years. All HDTV's make HDTV look good; it's what they do. All the unsightliness of standard def is going to be magnified on any HDTV right now, because none of them will do us the simple favor of drawing CRT-Style scan lines across standard def to hide that shit. Some do an ok job, some don't even try. Until a set is made with this simple enough feature, we all get to suffer. There is no silver bullet for this. Trust me, I've looked under every corner for the right answer. Fortunately, most stations are offered in HD, except USA and Comedy Central, who both suck for that. So the suffering is limited.

As for LCD vs Plasma, again, no clear choice. What you see and like is what you should buy.

Sorry to any Ned's Atomic Dustbin fans who were hoping for something else from this post. I like my references.

Priceless

2009-04-23T11:03:00.002-04:00

It's not much of a secret that I like Penny Arcade, or that I think Nirvana is overrated and stale as shit (thanks edge 103.3 and edge 102.1 for keeping their entire library in your daily playlists for 10 years straight), but this recent comic... it's like chocolate and peanut butter.

A splendid little war game

2009-04-16T15:36:00.000-04:00

I picked up Civilization for the DS, which is fantastic, for only $15 new at EB games. I also picked up the GTA:Chinatown Wars. Once you let go of the idea that you'll be getting an experience as immersing as GTA 3 and it's successors offered, it's also quite fun.

I live

2009-04-13T15:41:00.002-04:00

You may have heard about Blizzard’s “Creative Writing” contest, which ended yesterday. I decided to take a stab at it, not because I wanted the outwardly offered prizes, but because I thought it was their way of scouting talent for a writing position they have available over there.

I was right. When I submitted my story, which I had to reformat several times to fit the 100k max file submission size, there was a check box that read “I am interested in professional writing”. Click!

I’ve spent a good amount of time and energy on this thing. Maybe too much. The home stretch ‘finishing touches’ prior to submission amounted to about 15-17 solid hours of writing between Friday night and Sunday morning, all crammed into the spaces between repeated and lengthy Easter festivities. I also burned up the last free uses of Word that came with my computer. I’m now exiled to MS Works (the coach class of word processing programs) unless someone knows a way I can get a Windows Product Key without paying more than the $20-30 it’s really worth.

The various families and future families-in-law I’ve been seeing all weekend asked me what I’d been up to lately. My mind was –is– still consumed by the project, which made answering that question awkward, to say the least.

I keep re-reading my submission and catching stupid little errors. Will it be these amateur mistakes that cause the Great Pumpkin to pass me by? Forgot a pronoun here, left some ugly syntax there. The red, blue and green squiggles are still showing up. They only asked for my address and email… don’t they want to call me? Crap, I forgot to put my info on the header… what if there’s a mix up? And so on.

As a reward for completing the story (and not before then!) I promised myself I’d get some new DS fodder. But what to get! Age of Mythologies? Civilization DS? GTA: Chinatown Wars? Fire Emblem? I am once again paralyzed by choice.

Tar-tee-tar

2009-03-18T16:55:00.002-04:00

St Patrick’s Day 2007:
Start the morning at one friend’s house, watch Avatar, play DS, begin drinking. Introduce my friends to my new girlfriend.
Move on to another friend’s house, picking up more friends and more steam, continue drinking and playing Bullshit.
Move on to Founding, add more friends, add more drinks, play Johnny Up, incur dreadful wrath over a few ice cubes, play more DS, and eventually the sun goes down.
Spent 3/17 making a nice corned beef dinner.
GOOD TIMES.

St Patrick’s Day 2008:
Run the Shamrock Run, shamefully (see my first blog post ever here).
Spent 3/17 on a boat sailing around the island of Kauai. Can’t complain.
GOOD TIMES, missed my friends though.

St Patrick’s Day 2009:
Run the Shamrock Run, turned in my best 8k time to date at 47:20
Attend the parade for the first time, largely due to an overwhelming crowd driving us from our beloved haunt. Retire with some friends in the evening for more drinks and hanging out. Many from prior years are absent, and we’re all a little more tired than fired up.
Spent 3/17 lying low and getting angry at the loud idiots surrounding my house. Wondered why all my friends were so intent on going out drinking when it seemed like a better idea to recuperate and wait for the weekend. Around 10:30pm, looked at a calendar and slapped my stupid forehead.
DOH.

The moral of the story? As far as I can tell, competing in the Shamrock Run somehow has an adverse effect on one’s ability to enjoy good old St Patrick’s Day festivities.

...Please let it be that and not that we’re getting old.

I swear I did not dream this

2009-01-23T17:23:00.001-05:00

I often describe movies as appearing to have been written and directed by hyperactive 13 year old boys, but I encountered a movie this weekend that really stands out. The plot, cast and dialogue were so overblown and rotten that it almost had to be some sort of parody on big budget films.

I haven't found the name yet, but that's only because I haven't bothered to try. I'm sure it's familiar to some of you. Here's the actual cast of the movie. Note that all actors speak their roles in their natural accents. I may have misspelled some names. I'll edit and add IMDB links later if I feel like it. Ok, let's do this:

Jason Statham - as a simple medieval farmer with tremendous acrobatic, armed and unarmed combat ability.
John Rhys Davies - as a "magus", a wizard whose power comes from his devotion to the king. Which brings us to the king.
Burt Reynolds - ...wait, what? Yes, Burt Reynolds is essentially the aging King Arthur of this vaguely medieval set film. The Bandit, ruling with a just and even hand, beloved by all. He wears a white beard and looks like a poor man's Sean Connery. I think they were hoping no one would notice the difference.
Ron Perlman - as a tight-lipped friend of Farmer Statham who journeys with him to rescue his lost love.
Claire Forlani - as Jason Statham's lost love. The villain captures her. We'll get to the villain in a minute.
Kristianna Loken - a vaguely celtic/elven/hippy forest girl with bleach-blonde dreadlocks, who cares for the trees with a few other leather-clad girls. They might be a little... you know... into each other. It's never really explained. Nothing really is. Kristianna's character hates all the fighting because her beloved forests are spoiled by it. Also, she has some sort of forest voodoo where she can control vines.

So that brings us to the conflict.
Lee Lee Sobieski - plays a distraught daughter of John Rhys Davies, she falls in love with the villain who betrays her once he gets a magic thingy. She cries a lot, then dons armor in some steely Joan of Arc moment and rides around a lot in it, but never actually goes into battle. In the end realizes she is magical, too. But who is this villain?
Ray Liotta - complete with his ass-tastic almost Buffalonian "eaccent", as a powerful dark magus who learned from JRD, but then broke away to be evil. He controls a massive army of orc rip-off monsters, who he sends to battle repeatedly against King Burt's army. He stands against the king, which would normally cause him to lose his magus powers, but he gets around that by declaring himself king of his orcs. But even he needs a puppet, someone to control on the throne. He needs a spoiled nephew of the king who wants the throne for himself.
Matthew Lillard - as the spoiled traitor nephew of the king, giggling and writhing through his role like he just took a massive bong hit. In the big battle, he manages to shoot King Burt with an arrow. As the next in line for the throne, if the king dies, he gets to rule. And so after he's been captured for his treachery, battling the king's champion in some sort of grudge match sword fight, right before he can be killed, someone yells that the king is dead. Giggles reminds everyone that means he's king now, and everyone is his servant. That is, until John Rhys Davies announces that Farmer Statham is actually the king's long lost son and therefore the next in line for the throne. Yay, right?

One thing that really put all of this right over the top is that King Burt Reynolds has bodyguards that are ninjas. Not ninja-like european medieval warriors, which would at least make some sense within the vaguely dark-ages European context. These are actual Japanese ninjas, in ninja outfits, wielding katana swords. They come flipping through the air in unison to defend Burt whenever he appears to be threatened on the battlefield. Note: they don't work against arrows.

As the credits suddenly rolled, I was treated to a song sung by a male folk singer with crazy vibrato, as though ripped right from the Rankin-Bass Hobbitt cartoon.

The thing that gets me is that this movie somehow managed to be made and produced with Hollywood blockbuster veneer and star power. My only theory involves the Make a Wish Foundation.

The end of a Chair-a

2009-01-16T15:48:00.002-05:00

For Sale: Papasan Chair. Frequently Used.

In its day, anyway. Lately it's been more of a clothes rack than piece of furniture, cast aside into one of the spare bedrooms. Never again to be used by someone who needs to get close enough to the TV to be the fourth player for a round of Smash Brothers or Time Splitters.

Player 5 has left the game.

Anthony Bourdain in Buffalo

2009-01-12T15:00:00.000-05:00

A little while ago, Anthony Bourdain of No Reservations had a contest where viewers submitted a short video telling him why he should visit a certain region and take that person with him.

It was interesting watching the montage as a frustrated Bourdain grimaced over several weird, scary or stupid entries. "As far as I know, you've never been to the greater Denver area," one entry began. "And I never will," Bourdain responded and hit the stop button immediately. Another entry for some reason involved a shirtless man slicing through a snowman with a real samurai sword.

Eventually, he settled on four finalists. One, an American Muai-Thai Kickboxer, wanted to take Anthony to Thailand. Another immigrant from the Phillipines wanted to take him back to his homeland. The third finalist, a Saudi immigrant woman, wanted to show that Saudi Arabia isn't all fundamentalists, scorching desert and rage. The last was a musician who simply wanted to show Bourdain about Buffalo.

The show went to Saudi Arabia and it was a fine show, but we were disappointed of course, especially considering that humble Buffalo had made it to the final circle among so many much more exotic options.

But, it seems Anthony has been pursuaded to come anyway. Caitlin sent me this link from BRO. I can't wait to see the show. I just hope he got farther than Ulrich's and that he wasn't surrounded by gawkers the whole time.

Resolutions

2009-01-09T11:02:00.001-05:00

1. Do more writing
2. Portion control
3. Decide once and for all where I will put up my tent stakes (Elmwood Village? No-Bo/Kenmore? Youngstown? Ashville? Seattle? Kashyyyk?)
4. Buy a house
5. Visit Seattle again, in the summer months, and do some real hiking.
6. Get an HDTV, now that I know what I want.

Days one and two

2008-12-27T16:42:00.008-05:00

I must be brief. Internet access is 8 pounds for 1 hour here. First things first...

We went to Hyde Park, near to our hotel, on the first jet-lagged morning we arrived. It was a cool, crisp, sunny day with folks wandering about. We bee-lined it to the Peter Pan statue.

The thing about this park is, people have horses here and enjoy riding them around. A noble-ish "come on then!" spurred these two horses to gallop by us at a decent speed shortly after Caitlin snapped this pic.

I believe snapping one of these is customary for us silly yanks.

We then headed to a market in the northern part of town, near Notting Hill. Here's a snapshot.

The London Eye, Of course, which we later went up.

Westminster Abbey, which is fantastic on the inside (no pictures allowed though)

Later on, we noticed this. Luckily, The Doctor noticed it too, and he took care of it.

Out of sync, but Here's Big Ben and Parliament from up on the Eye (Of London, not Sauron).

This was too funny not to share. Outside of the Victoria and Albert Museum, there's a poster advertising an upcoming medieval/renaissance exhibit. Someone added an extra touch, but kept it rather tasteful. Now, instead of a medieval king, he's a Jack of Diamonds.

My big prediction for 2009

2008-12-23T09:45:00.001-05:00

Something big... Very Big... in a marketing sense... will happen on September 9th, 2009 (9/9/09). It might involve an angry action hero diving through the air with a glowing fist cocked or some kind of giant gun. It will be subsequently available on blu ray.

Heh heh... OLED

2008-12-08T17:15:00.002-05:00

My extended research on display thises and thats has coughed up a new nascent technoloy for flat panel display. OLED - Organic Light Emitting Diode televisions. Only a few millimeters deep, flexible, bendy screens with brighter, punchier displays than LCD and contrast ratios and refresh rates far beyond even plasma's capabilities, it'll be interesting to watch as sizes get bigger and prices get more reasonable.

Oh, and for anyone really looking for a deal... It doesn't get much better than this. At least for now. Who knows what'll happen next week with our wacky, scary as hell economy.

Wah

2008-12-02T15:54:00.005-05:00

I ran the Turkey Trot last Thursday. It's a very good time. I highly recommend it to everyone regardless of skill level. Very festive, very beautiful part of Buffalo, and a great way to earn your thanksgiving dinner. I got to see Haley and I got to see Nick Hoffman twice (once before the race started, and once again after mile 4 when he blew by me).

I'm happy to report that this time, I ran it end to end without any of that wussy walk-run crap that I was reduced to during the Shamrock Run. I crossed the finish line at 54:33, but my "net time" according to the timing chip strapped to my shoe, was 50min, 56sec. See what they do is, they track when you finally cross the start line and subtract that time off from when you finish. That equates to about a 10:15 mile average pace, which is much slower than I'd have put myself at if I had to guess.

My brother and his wife crossed the finish line 7 seconds after me and I met them in the chute. I had no idea they were right behind me, nor they that I was right in front of them. But their timing chips awarded them a net time of 49:15, a much more respectable time (congrats to both of them should they ever read this). Talking to them about where they were in the pack before the race started, it seems like they were very near to where I was. So how I managed to cross the start line a full minute and a half before they did seems to me to point to some sort of chip error.

Here's my case for shenanigans:
1. The clock above the starting line was malfunctioning, and kept flashing "4:11" once it got to that time after the race started (and before I crossed the start line).
2. The race didn't start at 9. Rather, at 9:05am, the National Anthem was sung, then someone mumbled for about 30 seconds into the microphone, then I believe an airhorn went off signalling the start of the race, but it was another 5 minutes before I even started moving, and about another 45 seconds before I crossed the start line.
3. My "bib" number was not searchable during the results, only my name.
4. I crapped out and walked portions of the Shamrock Run and still ended up at 52:10. So running the whole way this time only gets me an extra minute? I declare Shenanigans!!!

I have no real proof though, so all this amounts to is a big "wah" post. None the less, I'll be wearing my own stopwatch next race, and I'll be performing better.

Wii issues continued

2008-11-28T13:49:00.003-05:00

I went to Nintendo's website. The short trouble-shooting page recommended that it needed repair. I called in for repair and got a snotty young girl who suggested it was the TV.

Here are some pictures. If it is the TV, time for a return, but then why does the HD and even normal programming look better than this?

Help wanted

2008-11-26T11:57:00.003-05:00

I recently purchased a 42in HDTV. And it's great, now that I've finally stomached my buyers' guilt. It's a Philips, it's 1080p picture is fantastic except in one case:

The Nintendo Wii. I love playing the Wii, but the image, even in 480p mode with component cable input, is very pixelated and aliased. Mario appears to have claws, that's how jagged it is. You kind of get used to it, but it never feels like that's how it should look, especially since some textures, like background clouds, galaxies, etc, show none of this and look clear and crisp. I never had this issue on my old 27in CRT, and indeed all the TV's in stores showing Wii games don't seem to have this problem either, but they're all smaller.

I did some int'net research and the forums bitching about these issues vacillate from "mine looks fine" to "it depends on the TV, I have a Sony and it looks beautiful, some technologies don't adapt well" to "its the Wii, that's just how it looks, go get a PS3 if you want high def".

I'm sure Philips would agree with the last point, so no use calling them. I instead reach out to my friends in the know. Is the Wii just stretched out too much on a 42in to avoid jagged pixelation or is it my TV?

The McGreg-Ogrega plan for ecological responsibility

2008-10-24T11:08:00.002-04:00

1. Strictly enforced cap-and-trade. Caps decrease every year. All businesses are subjected to immediate full audits to ensure they're not just fronts being created to provide more credits to parent companies. Such audits will be conducted randomly over time for companies in case any sneak or bribe their way through. Any business that exceeds their pollution cap is slapped with a scaling, extremely encumbering penalty tax until they receive new credits at the start of the next fiscal period.
- Caps are all inclusive. Not just carbon emissions, but all activity such as mature tree removal, water and ground pollution, garbage waste, and ecological harm to native species are all tallied in an organization's "ecological impact".

2. Incentives are offered for research and development to cleaner energy, waste disposal and recycling technologies. Companies and individuals using such technologies will be given tax incentives.

3. Foreign imports and services will be subjected to equal scrutiny. If a foreign product is made by a company unable to comply with these standards, it will be embargoed. All compliance will be verified by a committee in the same manner as IAEA investigation teams. If the team is barred from a complete investigation, the product will become unavailable on US shores. This will force the global economy to get in step with us or lose the entire US as a market.

This isn't that hard if people cut back on greed and laziness.

All I wanna do is [blam blam blam blam, click, ka-ching] and take da money

2008-10-07T10:09:00.004-04:00

I'm going to sound old here, being 29 and all.

There's a newer song getting a lot of air time on Edge 102 that really got my hopes up when it first started playing. That's because it samples "Straight to Hell", a lesser-known song from The Clash, but a good one none the less. Unfortunately, this new debased song was done by what sounds like a version of the Spice Girls that is trying very hard to establish street cred.

I looked up the title. It's called "Paper Planes", done by some artist named M.I.A., and is supposedly about immigrants facing hostility when they're really harmless. I can get behind that message, but this isn't how the song sounds at all.

The refrain is the title of this post. It uses gunfire and cash register sound effects while a chorus of Brixton kids sing. You know, because they're so tough and jaded.

Now, this may be fine with the surviving members of The Clash, but somehow it doesn't feel that way. It's as if a bunch of dim high school drop-outs went wandering and found this great old abandoned mansion. So they desecrated it and started throwing parties there, completely oblivious to the history of the place. I hope Joe Strummer haunts the shit out of the little chavette.

Government Bail-Out Thoughts

2008-09-29T17:16:00.002-04:00

Ok, so there's obviously a problem, and it's going to hurt us one way or another. I've been reading a lot trying to figure out how I feel about all of it, but this here is honestly the most logical answer to the problem based on my limited knowledge.

As a potential home-buyer, why wouldn't I want home values to come back down to reality? Then again, as an actual job-haver, I do want credit to flow freely so people buy things from my company.

Spook Central

2008-09-26T10:32:00.002-04:00

Ghost Hunters recently went to Buffalo's Central Terminal to investigate reports of paranormal activity. They were very positive about restoration efforts of the building, and duly awed by the 14 story art deco spire and sprawling complex. Some interesting stories came out of the locals working on the site, one involving a voice in the dark asking questions in German, which led to the mention that German POW's were put to work maintaining the building during WWII.

The investigative team itself heard footsteps, heard and caught voices on their recorders, made "contact" with a woman using a device that registered electro-magnetic disturbances and saw shapes moving on a thermal camera. They concluded the place was certainly haunted, but not by nasty ghosts. My thoughts: vagrants screwing with them.

The thing that really stuck with me though was the magnificence of the structure and the way it effected the team. They were very impressed and even if it was by a derelict building from the Days of Yore, it was still my city that did it. Hooray for Buffalo. Speaking of which, there is an Oktoberfest celebration happening there Saturday night. Should be a good time.

Now, if they're really brave, they'll spend a night in the Richardson towers of the old psychiatric hospital on Forest.

Fall guy

2008-09-22T09:07:00.002-04:00

It's no secret, I've blogged about it before. I heart autumn. Best beer, best sports, best weather, best hiking. Best holidays. One thing I also like is the sound of the accordian, which we get to (or have to, depending on your perspective) hear more often during glorious Oktobahfesht. Maybe it's because I'm half kraut, half pollock. I just like hearing a nice Alpine rhythm coming out of the squeeze box. Or a Piratey theme. 's good stuff. Roll out the barrels, I say. Yo ho ho.

I also have to recommend a new cartoon, Chowder, for anyone who hasn't suffered through one of my failed attempts to explain why it's so damned funny. It is on par with and often a cut above Dexter's Lab, and a good rebound-toon for a world gone cold and clammy with Avatar withdrawal pangs.

Match-O-Matic

2008-09-17T09:39:00.003-04:00

In a continued effort to enlighten voters without offering my own views as commentary (vote Quimby!), I offer you this link. It offers quotes and positions on issues without telling you who said them. You pick the one you like better after each pair of quotes, and at the end it tells you who you agree with more.

No re-taking if you get "the wrong guy" on your first go around.

Presidential Candidates and the Environment

2008-09-02T16:01:00.002-04:00

Now that both candidates have selected running mates, I thought I'd join in the discussions by mapping out the current positions and plans of both candidates on addressing climate change. I'm happy to report that both campaigns have detailed plans that recognize the validity of the issue, which is huge and represents a burgeoning consensus that is finally brushing aside any lingering claims that the scientific community has some sort of agenda causing them to concoct false notions.

Per their respective campaign websites, McCain and Obama both plan to implement a "cap and trade" emissions program, where companies are alotted a number of "carbon credits" allowing for limited pollution. Those who don't use all of their credits are allowed to sell spare credits to other companies. McCain has a long term goal to reduce emissions levels to 60% below what they were in 1990 by the year 2050. Obama plans to reduce emissions "by 80%" by 2050. I haven't found further detail on what year he's using as a comparison for that reduction, but my guess is he's looking at 2005 or 2007.

Either way, some scientists are now predicting that at current trending, the Arctic Ocean may have its first completely ice free summer as early as 2013. More conservative models have moved the date from 2080 to 2030. By comparison, in 2012, McCain's reduction plan will have reached it's first benchmark: a reduction to 18% over 1990 emissions levels. Obama's plan doesn't have the tiered benchmarks on emissions that McCain does, but he is shooting for a goal of his own: 10% of all electricity coming from renewable sources, with a longer term goal of 25% by 2025. Breaking these statements down into cold hard factual numbers would be nice, but there are too many variables and the lack of in depth detail makes it impossible to calculate.

McCain's cap and trade plan allows credits to be sold directly from one company to another. Obama's requires them to be auctioned off.

Obama mentions a plan to put 1.5 million plug-in hybrids on the road that get up to 150mpg by 2015, the final goal of which is to completely detach us from needing any oil from the Middle East or Venezuela by 2018. His aim is to ensure that these are US made cars, which will create a "green collar" manufacturing work force. He also wants to build a natural gas pipeline from Alaska, develop clean coal as a primary source of energy (previously he had been promoting nuclear energy), reduce national consumption of electricity by 15% by 2020, and weatherize 1 million low income homes per year. Obama wants to offer a $7000 tax rebate for purchases of advanced technology vehicles.

McCain's comprehensive plan is known as the Lexington Plan, and one of it's ultimate goals is complete independence from foreign oil by 2025. He wants to offer a prize of $300 million to any US firm that can create a hybrid or fully electric battery technology that will "leapfrog" current technology standards. He wants to offer a $5000 tax rebate to clean car purchasers. He supports alternative energy advancement of all kinds and wants to offer companies investing in R&D a tax incentive equal to 10% of the wages of R&D personnel. McCain advocates clean coal as well as nuclear power, and specifically wants to fund development of infrastructure for both.

As for US oil companies, McCain wants to release the moratorium on continental shelf drilling completely to allow unlimited domestic production or oil and natural gas. Obama points to all the unused lease claims that already exist both on land and at sea, and wants to force them to drill there first (or lose their leases) before leasing new areas. Obama supports a windfall profits tax which he will use to offer rebates to low income families. McCain opposes this, believing such a tax only increases our dependence on foreign oil.

McCain goes into better detail on carbon credits and how unsold units will eventually be auctioned automatically. A portion of the money from these auctions will be used to fund R&D on advanced clean technology. Another portion will be used to aid low income families when needed. He will also develop a Strategic Carbon Reserve, which will allow for extra polluting whenever the economy is under "duress".

McCain and Obama both want the US to lead global ecological efforts, mainly through the UN politically and by selling clean technologies to developing countries.

McCain also mentions an "adaptation plan" that goes beyond energy-focused efforts and covers the environmental issue completely, which I assume to mean reducing our impact on nature across the board (sprawling developments, EPA protections, fishing and hunting regulation, logging, recycling, etc) using scientific analysis as a basis for activity on a local level.

I highly encourage anyone looking for clarification or more detail to visit www.johnmccain.com or http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/newenergy for more details.

Where I've been

2008-08-27T15:41:00.001-04:00

Saratoga Springs and Albany are nice enough. Dallas has yet to impress me (and I did give it a fair chance). Chicago is as charming as ever, and Gab is doing well, working in the Batman Building and becoming a bona fide local Chicagan.

That's about it for my travels. I watched the majority of the olympics from hotel rooms, which as I write it, sounds much more appealing than it actually is. I read a book about FBI Special Agent Pendergast, an infallible superhuman cross between James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, The Shadow and Indiana Jones. While the book covered some interesting subject matter and ended up a fun read, it was hard to accept this demigod hero. My one pointer for the capable authors is to tone it down a bit. I mean, this guy has the eloquence of Shakespeare, has a bottomless repository of knowledge on all obscura, is independently wealthy, routinely selects the singularly correct solution to puzzling situations in nanoseconds, physically resembles a close cropped Legolas, and has the foppish first name of Aloysius. Oh yeah, and he even has a ward. It's borderline satire on the genre to shamelessly pile so much onto a single entity. I bet he can fly, too.

Did I mention that he also has an evil brother? I'm not kidding.

And yet, I read the whole damned book. I feel bloated, unhealthy. Like my mind now has gas from the indulgence.

Readers Wanted

2008-08-07T18:28:00.003-04:00

It is my pleasure to announce that Greenfern Magazine is now carried by the good folks at Rust Belt Books.

Good stuff

2008-08-02T19:27:00.000-04:00

A fun read for the whole gang.

Avatar

2008-07-22T15:24:00.001-04:00

It ends after Book Three? Aw, man! So then what is the future of the Air Nomads and Air Bending? Does it end with Aang? I always thought book four would be about rebuilding that nation to restore balance.

Good times

2008-07-17T13:56:00.000-04:00

Went to the MLB All Star Game, the last one ever to take place in Yankee Stadium. Amazing fanfare, great to see all the hall of famers out there. The game itself was a bit of a dud for the first ten long innings, after which point, exhausted from the day, we finally left. Good thing we did, because Tommy Lasorda and Wade Boggs were drinking at our hotel bar. Got to meet them briefly, although they were both well in their cups at that hour.

Other noteworthies encountered that day: Jim Bouton, Gaylord Perry, George Foster, Mitch Williams, Ferguson Jenkins. And one former coach of the Cleveland Cavs (I forgot his name because I'm not a big basketball fan. Might have been Mike Fratello)

One thing I have to mention is that while I understand Yankee Stadium has an incomparable amount of baseball history in it, I'm really ok with them getting into a better park. Other than those white gable things tacked to the scoreboard and monument park, there's no distinguishing characteristics to that place. It certainly doesn't have the charm and historic feel that Wrigley Field does. It's a ballpark and it's old and a lot of great baseball happened there, but you're very hard pressed to really visualize anything like that when you're there.

Got a Wii for my birfday, thanks to Caitlin for somehow finding one. First on the list to buy is a second controller, then Smash Brothers. Then Mario Kart. Then Mario Galaxy. Then Okami. Then Metroid Prime: Corruption. Then Star Wars Lightsaber battles. Then all the other Wii games I'm forgetting about because there are too many.

Camping was amazing as always at Letchworth. I have to go again, and I have to go for more than one night.

And where is the Bat Man?

2008-07-10T12:14:00.003-04:00

On Sunday afternoon, a man came into my neighbor's back yard and quietly deposited his bike by the fence. He then departed on my neighbor's bicycle, which had been in his garage. My neighbor was gardening about ten feet away when it all happened. He noticed the noise and looked up in time to see the man leaving, and gave chase. Luckily the chain locked up about a block later and the thief fled further on foot, leaving my neighbor with his bicycle.

This was in broad daylight with plenty of people outside in the area enjoying the warm sunny weather. I understand my personal history makes me particularly sensitive to these types of events, but it is hard to love where you live when the seedier elements have become so bold.

A few weeks ago, visiting a local electronics store not far from Delaware park on a very busy street, I learned that it is frequently targeted by burglers who often smash to pieces any piece of equipment they are unable to pry intact from the mooring, as if to punish the proprietors for making it difficult. What scum. I don't care what hand life may have dealt you, theft is just abhorrent.

Our Thin Blue Line is supposedly cracking down on this sort of activity. There are definitely some fighting the good fight and they deserve the highest commendations. But when you see a patrol car turn it's lights on and off over and over just to blow through the stop signs and red lights on Richmond, it makes you wonder about the ethics of the officer behind the wheel and sends a real shitty message to everyone around.

Noise polluters aren't cited or dealt with, nuisances and street obstructions are left to fester, and crime, while supposedly statistically falling, feels like it's getting closer and closer. It's enough for me to shake my cane at.

Righto

2008-07-09T09:08:00.005-04:00

If I were to have a child, I think it would be a cool idea to speak only in a British accent around it. Only allow it to watch British TV, radio (NPR will do) and film, and by the time he or she goes off to elementary school, presto! British sounding kid.

Then, sometime around age 11 or 12, suddenly stop the accent around the poor thing. When he or she asks what happened to my voice, I'll counter by asking him why he's talking funny.

Slightly less than pathetic

2008-06-27T19:30:00.003-04:00

After slacking off for the better part of a week, I finally broke the 4 mile barrier regarding how far I've jogged without stopping or walking. Along the way, I inhaled a bug through my nose and gagged as it thrashed in my throat, and later invited a heckler to fellate his friend.

It's a good bet I'll be up for some drinking tonight.

Bla Bla Bla, Mr Freeman.

2008-06-19T07:05:00.003-04:00

Inevitable

2008-06-16T13:39:00.002-04:00

Precipice is a laugh out loud game. I agree fully with Alex's review on Webshite. But it's only about six hours long. I "hundred-percented" it way too quickly. While it seems that we won't have to wait long for a sequel, I am currently bereft of game once again and loathe to make yet another investment.

Last week at a work event in the Northern suburbs of Chicago, 2 Wii's were raffled off over the course of an after-hours outdoor cocktail event. In the fading twilight, as the last ticket number was announced, I noticed it matching so far with the one in my hand. 7...yes... 2... yes (ok, stay calm)... 7. Shit! I had a 1.

No one got up. My companions, who had lingered with me at the boring event just to see if I would win, jeered to me that I should just go up and claim it anyway. "You have to be here to win!" the announcer teased the crowd. I realized in the dark that I could be forgiven for mistaking the hook-topped 1 with a 7 should I be called on it, and if not, the Wii would be mine! I stood up.

But it was too late. Another ticket had already been drawn and the numbers were being read off. As a slightly intoxicated young woman giggled her way up to the table, the Wii was handed to her without even a glance at her stub.

But you know what? It's nice out anyway and as is often pointed out to me, my leisure time spent in front of a screen is better used for writing. So on that note, who's up for some golfing this weekend?

The Thirst

2008-06-03T09:42:00.002-04:00

Throughout history, when people found themselves in a climate that couldn't support the population, they die out or vacate for more life-friendly regions. One would think the easy answer would be to encourage the people to move to the water, not vice versa. But no, we actually have to worry about people being so environmentally infantile that they might lobby to siphon significant quantities of the Great Lakes to desert areas.

Move to the Great Lakes? Heavens no. It snows up there! Bring the water to me, that I might enjoy this inhospitable desert weather a while longer.

Don't touch anything!

2008-06-02T11:02:00.002-04:00

I saw the new Indiana Jones movie. Here's my take, trying not to spoil too much. If you want to go in "pure", then don't read this until after you see it. If you want an idea of what you're in for before you spend the dough, read on.

It's easy at first glance to dislike the premise compared with the older movies, and I can grant you that it's a slight departure from the old stuff. But if you think about the sort of things atheists would be after compared with the Nazi occultists of the 30's, it's really the only way to throw Indy up against the "evil empire" of the time. In my opinion, it's handled well. A lot of what fans might gripe about seems to be addressed and quelled in the conversations Indy has with Mutt.

Speaking of whom, there seems to be some sort of viral predisposition out there to hate Mutt Williams, but his character helps the film. Just when Dr. Jones starts to look a little too creaky and incapable, the action seems to focus on Mutt and his youthful energy. Likewise, when you've had enough of Mutt's headstrong antics, you get a reprieve back with good ol' Indy, who can still throw a mean punch. And you may not like Shia LeBoeuf for whatever reason, but the guy does a good job, especially compared to some other kids tapped to carry on a mammoth legacy.

You may hate the CG, but I didn't think it was overdone. Indy movies have always been about closing off mysteries without ever fully solving them. You get the pleasure of being there with Indy as the last person to ever lay eyes on whatever it is they've been searching for. You get to experience the full power of the treasure, and then you both share the anguish in having to let it go forever. There was one point along these lines that bothered me a bit in that it cheapened an earlier film, but it was minor.

Is it as enjoyable as the first three? In a way. But we're not kids anymore, so it's harder to impress us and easier to enrage us. If you go in looking for the magic, you will find it. If you go in looking for the kind of crap that's been pissing you off about Lucas and Spielberg's latter day films, you'll find some of that too. I guess you have to want to enjoy it. I did.

Just a heads up, try to ignore the Janitor.

End of a blighted age?

2008-05-28T16:50:00.002-04:00

So rising fuel costs are starting to reach very threatening stages in Europe. A recent Time article noted that gasoline costs an average of $9-$11 a gallon over there. Imagine if that were the case here, the widespread panic could lead to a gasoline-free revolution on our way of life. I'm not looking to get into a debate here, just imagining the benefits beyond "no more gasoline cars".

1: The return of the Age of Sail. In the wake of untenably expensive oil, shipping and other maritime industries turn back to wind, this time augmenting cloth sails with solar powered electric engines for when the doldrums hit. Ships once again take on a sleek, majestic look. Things take a little longer by sea at first, but that's ok, no one's spilling oil all over the ocean anymore. Dredge fishing becomes more difficult and sea life maybe begins to rebound in some of the more scoured areas.

2: Modern rail takes hold in America for reals. Seeking an alternative to high jet fuel costs, magnetic induction trains like the French TGV and the Japanese bullet train begin to become more prevalent here in the states. Zoom. Caped villains rejoice in the ability to once again terrorize maidens by tying them to tracks.

3: The home office. Telecommunications advances continue to astound. How long before the notion of coming to work in an office building on a daily basis becomes needless and antiquated for the commercial sector? Many folks already enjoy telecommuting certain days of the week. I have the tools and access to do it, but rarely am I granted the option to do so. It'd be nice, is all I'm saying. Perhaps once a light rail is built in Buffalo (ha!), this becomes irrelevant since I'll have true rapid mass transit options.

4: I don't know, teleporters or some shit. Maybe we'll finally see an end to the noisey, pollution spewing internal combustion engine once and for all. A crude transitional piece of technology that can finally be laid to rest.

A few things

2008-05-19T10:01:00.002-04:00

1. Camping season is all but upon us. Can you smell the crisp pine scent? The campfires? The grungy aroma of humanity?

2. Went looking for an old video game in my storage bins and instead found a creepy ass bug with the body of a silverfish and the long hairy legs of a spider. Briefly conferred with Johnny via email, decided it was a Hybrid Zob and a harbinger of the end of the world. A "zob" for you laymen is any bug that gives you the heebie jeebies. All silverfish count, as do any spiders larger than a grain of salt. The name comes from the noise they are thought to make as they come skittering across the kitchen floor, hungry for blood.

3. West Virginia is no surprise and of little consequence at this point. Kentucky will go the same way. Clinton tells us she's on a roll garnering the whiskey-tango vote, but the reality is her "core" is scared racists and giggling republicans playing the spoiler. What a coalition!

Among the less tasteful comments ever uttered

2008-05-15T18:18:00.002-04:00

"Well those terrorists aren't going to just kill themselves."
- Me, defending my newfound Call of Duty 4 habit

Clin-Ton

2008-05-07T14:27:00.003-04:00

So Hill-dawg thought she should be the magical milestone democratic candidate in 2008, but all she's shown us so far is that she really, really wants to be president, and will do just about anything to get there.

1. Bill cheated on her. I don't care what was decided officially. Getting a beedge from another woman when you are married is cheating. Instead of leaving him, she kept the marriage going. Show of hands, who here thinks they are currently married in more than name? Why did she stay then? Because having Bill with her was supposed to help her odds, and also allows her to tout her "white house experience". I'd have admired her more for being strong enough to leave someone who was obviously not the marrying type. Unfortunately, that more genuine option would have left her with only her own story to tell as a candidate, and there's just not much there to claim political experience from.

2. She claims the tinies victories (51% to 49%) as public mandates, and ignores massive losses. Her strange logic also asserts that she wins the "big states", but isn't it the multitude of smaller states that Obama has won so handily that democrats normally slough off? If we've got someone who is capable there, doesn't that stand a better chance than someone who will win states any democrat would take anyway?

3. She is clinging to ideas that go against what should be a "peoples' will" democratic message. Bush's approval rating sucks. Everyone with a brain hates him by now. The next president should be someone intelligent and likeable, with strong popular broadline support rather than the deep affection of a group on one end of the spectrum only. But she is claiming that superdelegates should be allowed to act as a counter to winning the popular vote in the primaries. She also likes to throw out the michigan/florida primary thing. They should count, essentially, because she won them. She would not be talking about them at all if she hadn't won there. Nevermind the fact that the other candidates didn't campaign there and Obama wasn't even on the ballot.

4. Every time something comes up against Obama, she suddenly reveals she's been the other way her whole life. Obama commented in private that economically depressed rural pennsylvanians might be more interested in guns and religion as an outlet to their woes. Somehow this turned into the idea that he's against both things. Hillary meanwhile started touting her spirituality and her childhood experiences with firearms. When asked simply by a reporter "when was the last time you actually went to church or fired a gun?" she got real defensive, real quick. Uh huh.

I'm not saying Obama is flawless. He's green, and his now-former pastor is a nutjob. But he tends to respond in a more rational way to the curveballs he's been thrown, where Hillary seems to offer a pandering answer to whomever she is currently talking to or about. For example...
- She told Bill O'Reilly "God bless rich people". The context was essentially her agreeing with the principle of trickle down economics. Arguments aside, that's not really something democrats do.
- She is offering a gas tax relief that will lower pricing momentarily until demand responds and drives it back up. This relief will be paid for by big oil under a windfall profits tax. I'm no expert, but my guess would be they'll respond by increasing prices.

Here's an idea: offer folks incentives for buying high efficiency vehicles. Allow folks stuck in gas guzzlers a way to get into hybrids or other high mpg vehicles. I'm not just talking about the tax rebates offered on some hybrid purchases, I'm talking about something more along the lines of SUV amnesty. You know, say someone in a jeep wrangler lease wanted to switch to a corolla/focus or something else more practical (Whoa, where did that come from?), give them a way to make the trade without taking it up the tailpipe. That'd save people real money, drive responsible consumer behavior, stimulate auto sales a bit and give the old environment a bit of a carbon break, without freaking out big oil too much while we work on a long term solution. People are happy, the industry is happy, environmental freaks like me crack a mild grin while we await green energy sources, yadda yadda.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Greg for President.

Some quick updates

2008-05-05T09:04:00.002-04:00

1. The jeep is going bye bye. I'm stuck in a lease, but exploring options to get out of it without rolling up my payments. Dealerships so far have been disappointingly uncooperative. This site holds some promise, but I'm not yet convinced it completely severs financial responsibility. I am still researching. But in the mean time, would anyone like an new jeep for zero down, low payments and a short term lease?
2. The return of the beard has been forbidden by my boss. I'm a field guy now and need to look presentable. My contention that a well groomed beard is quite presentable didn't sway the verdict one bit.
3. The house/condo/townhome hunt is faltering. We saw a few places we could live in this weekend, but the price would put us in a pinch and we realized that doing that for a place we didn't absolutely love was not a smart move. Old dreams of living some place nicer came drifting back. The hunt continues, but my price range and my desired features in a home have yet to intersect.
4. I really, really want a wii. Really. How about someone trades me their wii for my jeep, straight up?
5. The Waimea Canyon post I promised before is still coming. I just need to get the pictures ready. It's old, but some of the pics are pretty cool.

Bad Choice

2008-04-23T07:26:00.002-04:00

Pennsylvania, you suck.

Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya

2008-03-16T14:50:00.011-04:00

I wanted to post this two days ago when we did this, but as it turns out, the internet is scarce on the rustic island of Kaua'i. This place is amazing, by the way.

We got here Thursday night, and on Friday we rented a Ford focus (which gets like 35 mpg. I'm seriously considering swapping the jeep for one) and drove up the East Coast of the island, around to the North coast and eventually, after crossing several one-lane bridges, we arrived at the edge of the Na Pali Coast. We stopped frequently along the way to take in sights such as this.

I really want to show you all the pictures, but there are too many, and they don't really do the place justice.

The drive up and around the coast took about 2 hours. The trail we were headed to was called the Kalaiau Trail, and the full length of it is eleven miles. We didn't have time to go the entire length because we had a dinner event to be at back on the southern tip of the island that evening. Plus, even though it's only 11 miles, you are required to bring camping gear and get a permit to hike it all. We read that there was a cool beach 2 miles in and decided a nice little 4 mile hike would be perfect considering how much time we had left.

The Sierra club rates prominent trails on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the absolute hardest. The Kalaiau Trail has a deserved rating of 9. The trail itself was mostly slick mud or slick rocks with steep cliffs falling off to your right and steep rocks to your left. See that little strip of dirt? That's the trail. But the view was worth it.

Turns out, they've been using Kaua'i's Na Pali Coast for establishing shots in movies for years. Remember Jurassic Park?

Here's one more of the view. Caitlin should be a professional photographer, by the way. Oh, and the person who designed the formatting for pictures on Blogger should be shot. I can't tell you how many times I've had to re-do pictures because of the way they mangle everything. Every time I add a new one, spaces are added all over the place.

Anyway, we hiked through mud, over rocks and protruding roots, through fast streams and always going steep uphill or steep downhill, and eventually came to a beach with this foreboding warning. Isn't that cool??

I can't describe the hike like the pictures can, so I'm going to stop typing and just post a few more of my favorites. Enjoy. I'll post about yesterday's hike through the Waimea Canyon later today. It's about 9:45am here and gorgeous outside. Sorry for the clumsy formatting from this point onward. Blame blogger.

Seasons of Buffalo

2008-03-10T11:01:00.002-04:00

Garv had a good topic yesterday. I’ll see if I can’t tie it into a good topic for today too.

My most vivid Buffalo memory is St Patricks Day. In college, my old friend Denny would come over to B1 and tear the lid off with me and the rest of the B1 gang. Because I’m not really Irish, and because I grew up far outside the city limits, I had no idea the size and scope of the festivities that were happening mere miles from my Canisius townhouse.

It wasn’t until the days of 267 Franklin St that I witnessed first hand the Sunday parade. Families came downtown, pipers appeared in downtown bar doorways, crisp snare drums fluttered in the equally crisp early spring air. The sun came out for the first time in what felt like decades. After a miserable winter, we were seeing happy people celebrating and reveling. It was a tremendous feeling and it stuck with me.

In the succeeding years, this holiday continued to surprise me in very fun, powerful ways. Living on Delaware, I got to watch people setting up lawn chairs to watch what was about to March right past my window. I think we may have roof-porched that day. One Sunday morning the following year I came back from visiting my brother in Springville, was just finished showering and brushing my teeth back in my old place on St James when Wydysh and Butters began drunkenly pounding on my door. It was 9am, by the way. They invited me to Bunting’s yearly party exactly across the street from me, which turned out to be a great time. It felt as though the holiday was following me around, making sure I didn’t miss out on it. It was a good feeling.

More recent 17th’s have been spent apartment-hopping around, eventually settling in for a long marathon of drinking with friends at dear old FF, where people you haven’t seen all year suddenly show up to celebrate.

So maybe this is why I’m a little down that this year I’ll be away from the city that has consistently delivered this holiday to me in memorable ways. I’ll be hunting for a Guinness next Monday, that’s for sure.

To try and wrap up an already overgrown post, St Patricks has also signified a kind of end of winter. The season of “doing stuff” begins, with what better color than green, the color of spring. This rule by the Seelie Court (nerd!) continues up until around Halloween, another deeply festive atmosphere and probably my favorite holiday overall.

So what’s your favorite season? Are you a winter sports addict or cold weather fan? Is it Xmas? I’ve always loved the Autumn. You get a reprieve from the humidity of summer, beautiful hiking, Oktoberfest, and finally, Halloween. Second is Summer for me, being a wannabe outdoorsman and all, I enjoy the outdoors-friendly weather. Third is Spring, and finally, in dead last by miles, is Winter. I like skiing, but the darkness, the cold, the stale air and the gray muddy palor of the season wear on me every time. It gets a little harder every year.

Don't call me Radio, Unit 91

2008-03-08T18:08:00.002-05:00

Nothing of my own to add today, so I'll dive right into the BufBlo topic of Music. I am way way behind. The last CD to get uploaded onto my iPod was Muse's Black Holes and Revelations, shortly after it came out over a year ago.

Used to be, I'd put on Rhapsody and catch tunes from their radio stations, save the bands to my library, and if I liked them enough, I'd buy their music. But now I use Rhapsody so rarely that it's pretty much a waste of money. I'm on the verge of cancelling it completely. I lay the blame squarely on their new, clunky and bright interface.

I can't count on Buffalo Radio to show me anything new, but I used to be able to count on Toronto Radio to a degree. Unfortunately, 102.1 now seems to believe that Nirvana, Pearl Jam, The Beastie Boys and other music from the early 90's is "New Rock". I'm used to this from 103.3, but I held our friends up North to a higher standard. It's ok to jump in the wayback machine once and a while and I know these are important artists. But they're old songs, and I shouldn't have to hear one every time I turn on the radio.

So I listen to 107.1 and 94.5 when 102.1 fires up "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" yet again. Classic Rock and Classical music. Try it, it's awesome.

There must be a balance

2008-03-07T18:08:00.004-05:00

I seem to be caught in a cosmic duel between the forces of yin and yang. I've been batted about recently, the plaything of karmic currents beyond my comprehension. Luck is a fickle thing, and recent events in my life have made this quite clear.

I already know what you're thinking: "what?"

Here's what:
On Wednesday I got a long desired promotion to a job that is more fulfilling than the one I've been languishing under for several years. (Hooray!)

On Thursday night, I was stopped by an over-aggressive policeman who spoke to me as though I was a drug lord/rapist, and ticketed me for "blowing through" a stop sign on my short drive home from watching a movie at a friend's house. It is my opinion that I came to a complete stop. (boo)

On Friday, arrangements were finalized for me and a guest of my choice to travel to Kauai for free to attend business meetings there for nearly a full week. (Hoo-f'ing-ray!)

However, these meetings run over St Patricks Day weekend, the one time a Buffalonian genuinely wants to be in his home town. (minor boo. I feel bad even complaining about this, but as I've said, St Patricks Day is one thing Buffalo truly does properly and I will miss being among friends on the 16th and 17th)

I get a blackberry with my new job, and for a nominal fee, I can use it as my personal phone with unlimited minutes. (Hooray!)

5 minutes before quitting time, I happened to peak at the Late Night Schedule calendar at work and learned with horror that I was scheduled to work until 8pm tonight. This resulted in what will be, when it is over, an 11 and a half hour work day. (Boo)

And finally, I am forced to back out from what is surely going to be a fun time this weekend due to a step-relative's birthday party. (BOO)

I know that the Hooray's far outweigh the Boos here. I know, and I will shut the hell up, goddamn it as soon as you hear me out. Considering this see-saw series of events, I can't help but wonder if and how the boos will achieve parity with the hoorays. It's kind of freaking me out, man.

BufBlo:
One thing I keep on my person at almost all times is my DS. While this used to be purely for impromptu gaming opportunities in just about any situation, it is now also because I'm afraid to leave it at my apartment. Just the same, if you ever see me out and ask me if I want to play, I will say yes, produce the gadget, and begin booting it up before you're even really sure you actually want to play.

How the Hell

2008-03-07T07:39:00.002-05:00

Do I change the dark blue background to something else, like say a fixed background picture? I'd prefer not to fiddle with the HTML, but the template options just don't give me any choices.

Addendum

2008-03-06T08:02:00.000-05:00

To further my shame, Caitlin ran a 43:40. Yes, nearly ten full minutes ahead of me. To celebrate her victory, she then threw a car into space.

It's been a good week

2008-03-06T07:29:00.000-05:00

I meant to start this blog in time for BufBloPoFo, but I am a slothful person when it comes to writing. Oh well. I'm here now, and that's what counts.

Firstly, last Saturday I attempted to run the Shamrock Run 8k, while still recovering from a nasty cough and braving what some would call gale force winds. I did not dress appropriately, and my nipples nearly froze off. Here's me before the foolish endeavor.

Keep smiling, you idiot. If it sounds like I'm making excuses already, it's because I am. I ran a respectful (for me) 52:10, but by "ran" I mean, "kept up with Caitlin's blistering speed as long as I could, then shamefully walked/jogged the rest".

Still, I got a free sweatshirt out of it.

Secondly, I picked up a new computer on Woot for a ridiculously low price. It's a lu-lu, too. Quad Core, 500gb hard drive, 3gb ram, etc, etc. So expect to hear about games a lot while the weather slowly thaws.

Thirdly, it's Thursday already. Which means two more days and we're on the weekend again.

As for the BufBloPoFo topic of the day, I was into the usual 80's boy stuff, GI Joe, Voltron, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Wars. Of course it molded me today. Like so many other man-children my age, I harbor great respect and admiration for all things Ninja, thanks to the exploits of Snake Eyes, Stormshadow, the Black Lion, Raphael and Panthro.

I still believe in finesse over brute strength and like the idea of a smarter, smaller guy embarrassing a big dumb oaf in a fight. Maybe it's because I'm friends with a bunch of guys who all lived under power lines and as a result, I'm shorter than most of them. Or maybe it's because ninjas are just unstoppable inhuman machines of grace and pain.